Comet Friends Are the Coolest!
Realizing what type of friends we keep close to us and the fact that it might be these same friends may both holding us back and supporting us at the same time may come as a shock to most of us. Analyzing our friends, the type of friends and the time you spend with them will in the end, make us a better friend to those that matter.
The first type is the “best friend.” The best friend is a friend that has been with us thick and thin, through toil and trouble and who has always been there for us. Friends of this type believe our story, even though mounting evidence might suggest that we might be wrong. The same best friend also knows when we are wrong and helps us see the errors of our ways.
Some of the best friend’s qualities are listed above, but what about their worst qualities?. “If they had any qualities that I didn’t, couldn’t or wouldn’t overlook than they are most likely not to be my best friend”. That is a valid point, one that is mitigated by the fact that we all grow and change as we get older and wiser. How many of us can say that we have the same best friend’s as we did when we were in grade school, middle school, high school? Very few of us can make that claim. People change over time, which is a fact. That change can lead to what we hold as values and if someone we consider close no longer aligns with those values, we tend to abandon them. It’s only natural, so don’t feel guilty. Most likely if this has happened than we have already re-aligned ourselves with a new best friend that shares our belief system.
The next friend is the close friends, “comet friends.” Comet friends who we are emotionally close to personally but due to some unforeseen circumstance, usually distance, seem to just cruise in and out of your life the way a comet does to a solar system.
This is my favorite kind of friend. I equate it to grandparents that get to spoil their grandchild and then send that spoiled brat back home to its parents, or in this case, whoever the comet friend has to deal with daily. This friend is that person that we were very close to or the other half of a best friend duo. When the two or three of us get together it’s like no time has passed what so ever. The old jokes begin to flow, and new ones form. There is no awkward re-get-to-know-you phase that less meaningful friends require. A vital part of this friendship is the nervousness that comes with the anticipated meeting of these friends. To me, if we aren’t nervous about having a good time or if they’ve changed or not than we aren’t being a good friend to the comet friend as we could be. The Comet friend is making sure to be ready for our encounter. Having entertainment ready, trying to be in a good mood despite, what might be happening in their lives. Like planning a date or a special occasion for a loved one, we want it to go just right. If we are true comet friends than, even with all the worrying, it just seems to come together anyway and a blast will be had by all!
The final set of friends is the social friend. This friendship is the broadest of them all and encompasses a variety of people in our life. Everyone from work mates, people that enjoy the same hobbies as you, school mates, ex-school mates ,drinking friends, A.K.A. the people at that one bar we go to that know our name but we won’t necessarily stop to help out if we see them on the side of the road with a flat tire. This group is large and takes up most of our time but a minimal amount of our energy.
The social friend is the group most likely to produce the friend that needs a “talking to” or the one that eventually needs cutting off all together. This group of friends is on a need-to-know basis. This means that, if we need them to know, we will tell them. We don’t share information with them, we’re not friends on Facebook, we don’t get invited to their kids events and they expect us to not invite them to ours. The social friend can be the biggest time suck on our calendar. They are mostly who we interact with daily. If we don’t focus that much time and energy on this group, then our place or work, school or wherever these people are may suffer as a result of our negligence. It is healthy to foster these types of relationships. We are pack animals and need to interact with other’s of a like mind. It’s when one social friend tries too hard to invade our other friend zones when things tend to get complicated and thrown out of whack. Sometimes, in dire situations, this social friendship will need to be hacked off at the trunk to keep the balance in your bio-friends-sphere. If we let this corrupt friendship’s roots creep to deeply into the cement of our other friends zones than it can break those bonds and we might find ourselves in a place we regret being in.
In the end, it’s the time and effort that we place into recognizing, growing and nurturing friend zones and being as good as a friend as we can be will our friendships be long lasting and very satisfying.